A Trip to Morgan and Echo

We stopped to let Winsie greet the horses on our way to Morgan Great Grandma and Grandpa Roger's old house in Morgan Today we drove up to Grandpa's grave in Morgan. We put some fall flowers and mini scarecrows on his plot. It was such a beautiful day. I know Grandpa would have loved to go for a drive up to Morgan on a day like this. Maybe he was with us. I'm so glad we got to go up there to the cemetery. I have been thinking so much about Grandpa and about how much I miss him. It's really been hitting me more lately.I still can't believe he's gone, sometimes it just feels like he's supposed to still be here. I miss Grandpa's sweet presence so much. Whenever I spoke with him or got an email he completely brightened my day. I miss hearing Grandpa's prayers. They were always so heartlfelt and sincere. I miss hearing his stories, he always had such awesome stories and experiences. Grandpa had such a way of making us feel special. I miss hearing him call me "LeeLee you sweet girl". I was trying to remember the other day what the last thing was that Grandpa said to me and it was that. I will never forget that. I am so grateful that I know I will see him again, that we will all be together again as a family. When we were with Grandpa before he passed away I had a strong confirmation that death really is not the end and that we would be reunited again someday. When I was saying goodbye to him I really knew more than ever that it would just be for a short while. I also witnessed how strong the human spirit is. When we arrived at the hospital that night,the doctors said that Grandpa was not coherent or responsive to them. But I knew Grandpa was aware we were there with him that night, and that he heard every word we said to him. I won't forget how his eyes changed from a glazed over state, to looking right at me when I went to his side to say goodbye. I know he heard what I said and what he would've said to each of us if he could have spoken. I think that was one of the hardest things I've ever witnessed yet the most powerful. I miss him so much, but I really believe he is with us and watching over our family.
The view from Grandpa's grave. It's such a pretty view.

We drove to Echo on our way home. This is the cafe Grandpa's family ran. I've always wanted to see it. It's for sale now, I wish I could buy it:)

Happy Birthday KC

I forgot to post this picture of KC the other day in honor of his 18th birthday on the 4th.

KC was such a perfect dog! I miss him so much!

Stumbling Blocks or Stepping Stones

My throat feels 100% better! I can't believe what a difference I feel compared to last Sunday. Hooray for modern medicine. I still feel really worn down and weak from the mono, but I can cope with that. I decided today I need to stop feeling sorry for myself and embrace challenges. I felt so sorry for myself all week, feeling like now that I've finally gotten ahead and gotten through the toughest thing I could, I'm back to feeling like crap again. I was in completely the wrong mindframe. Instead of thinking about how lucky I have been that things have gone smoothly thus far and that I'm on my way to achieving whatever I want to in life, I have focused on how I need to get a tonsillectomy...how I might miss Thanksgiving... and if the house doesn't sell soon then I won't have any money left in my account. And surely I can't even think of applying to schools and for financial aid, I have too much left to resolve in the meantime. I need to calm down and realize that things are going to work out. I think sometimes we get sick so we are forced to take a break. Otherwise we might never make time to do it. So today I've tried to do some attitude-adjusting. I read a really good article from the conference issue of the Ensign by Elder Wirthlin called "Come What May, and Love It". It was very inspirational. It really made me think about how grateful I am for what I've been through the past few years and despite how painful it was, it has given me a wonderful gift of growth. It sounds strange but it makes me almost want to say that I love trials. Nevermind, I take it back. :) I wouldn't go that far I guess. But I am grateful for what can happen when we use our trials as stepping stones.

Winston's getting mad so I'm going to pay some attention to him now.

Snow day for Winsie

Winsie was so excited about the snow yesterday he could hardly wait to get outside. I love how he gets snow all stuck in his beard, it's so cute.

Notes from the Invalid

Well, having mono isn't nearly as bad as having tonsilitis I've decided. At first when I went to the doctor last week, they tested me for strep and it came out negative of course because I had started antibiotics. So I was prescribed nothing, the doctor knew I had started antibiotics but for some reason didn't consider my results could be masked. So he sent me home telling me to use some lozenges and gargle and I should be fine. But we knew it had to be a secondary bacterial infection because of the severity of it over the weekend. The pain was so bad that I just couldn't stand it, I never knew it could be that painful. I'm so glad I went to the ER because otherwise I would've just been given a prescription of antibiotic and sent home. But the ER gave me an IV of a heavy-duty antibiotic and morphine and it helped a lot the first night. But they sent me home and the Lortab they prescribed didn't even eat away at the pain in the night, in fact the pain just got worse. And the Lortab made me feel so sick. So back to the ER yesterday and they put me on the same IV, but this time it didn't really work. They kept giving me more morphine but it wouldn't take the pain away like the night before. I was very hesitant to leave when they discharged me cause I didn't feel like anything was accomplished.
This time they've sent me home with a prescription for Prednizone, and then for Percocet, both of which are helping a lot so far. The prednizone has really helped cut down some of the swelling. I couldn't believe how big my tonsils got, my uvula was actually touching my tonsils, and it was just so hard to swallow. I was really scared that I wouldn't be able to breathe or swallow at all if it went on. So I'm really glad I got those things at the ER,they were so helpful. They gave me a list of Ear Nose & Throat doctors to call about getting a Tonsilectomy. I'm not looking forward to that at all, but after the excruciating pain I felt with this infection, I think I can handle it. I'm sure that with all the stress with the divorce and house stuff my immune system was just shot and that's how I've gotten so sick. Everyone has been so nice to pray for me and to help me right now. Mom and Dad both took me in to the ER on those separate days and got my prescriptions for me and helped me so much. And everyone has been so sweet to call and check up on me and sending me emails. I have the best family in the world, they are all so thoughtful. I got a call from the relief society president yesterday and a nice card from a friend in the ward. Everyone at work has been so nice to let me have work off, it's already been three days off and I feel really bad. They are always so thoughtful and understanding. It makes such a huge difference to work in an office where people actually care about you. They are just great people. I am so lucky to be surrounded by such wonderful people in my life. I feel really blessed. Thank you everyone for being so good to me.
Ok I'm not going to get all emotional here so I better go. I think all this medication has turned me into a blubbering baby. I kept crying the other day at the ER, not all because of the pain. I guess all the medications can make you emotional. Anyway, I am going to go rest now. That is all for today. I need to go take a nap with Winsie.

Nelson Mandela's Words of Wisdom

I stayed home from church today since I'm sick, so I've been reading quotes all day online to give me some inspiration. I found a bunch of good Nelson Mandela quotes so I wanted to share:)

“There is no passion to be found playing small - in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.”

"And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.”

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”

"There is no easy walk to freedom anywhere, and many of us will have to pass through the valley of the shadow of death again and again before we reach the mountaintop of our desires.”

"There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered.”

“Education is the great engine of personal development. It is through education that the daughter of a peasant can become a doctor, that a son of a mineworker can become the head of the mine, that a child of farm workers can become the president of a nation.”

“For to be free is not merely to cast off one's chains, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others.”

“Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.”

“We must use time wisely and forever realize that the time is always ripe to do right.”

Happy Halloween and Happy Birthday Winston!

Halloween was pretty uneventful this year. I have been feeling sick for about two weeks now and it is only getting worse, so I stayed home while Mom and Dad went to Michelle and Pete's to see the kids. I think this year Charley was a cheetah girl, Lukey was Frankenstein and Rhett a pirate. I wish I could have gone, but it was kind of nice relaxing last night. We rented Bewitched last night but I slept through the whole thing. hehe.
I'm not sure when Winston's birthday really is, but we've celebrated it on Halloween every year since that is the day we got him. Yesterday was his birthday, but since it was a busy night we decided to celebrate today. I think we'll follow in the tradition of KC's birthdays and give him a can of tuna. I made him a real dog cake last year, but to me it seems like he'd enjoy a can of tuna more than a bland cake made of carrots and peanut butter. I really wanted to take him to the dog park today and do all sorts of fun things with him, but I just don't feel up to going anywhere. Maybe I will take him to the dog park still though. He has a blast when we go. I wanted to buy him some bones from Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory for him, but I don't think I will be going out anywhere today.
I think that's all for now! That was a fascinating post.

Here are some pictures from last night.